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Dumb Ways To Die

Tangerine Kitty

Set fire to your hair
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Eat medicine that’s out of date
Use your private parts as piranha bait

Dumb ways to die
So many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
So many dumb ways to die

Get your toast out with a fork
Do your own electrical work
Teach yourself how to fly
Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie

Dumb ways to die
So many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
So many dumb ways to die

Invite a psycho-killer inside
Scratch your drug dealer’s brand new ride
Take your helmet off in outer space
Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place

Dumb ways to die
So many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
So many dumb ways to die

Keep a rattlesnake as pet
Sell both the kidneys on the internet
Eat a tube of superglue
«I wonder what’s this red button do?»

Dumb ways to die
So many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie
So many dumb ways to die

Dress up like a moose during hunting season
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
Stand on the edge of a train station platform
Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing
Run across the tracks between the platforms
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

The dumbest ways to die
The dumbest ways to die
The dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to die
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Banks Of The Ohio

Traditional song

I asked my love to take a walk,
To take a walk, just a little walk,
Down beside where the waters flow,
Down by the banks of the old Ohio.

And only say that you'll be mine
In no others arms entwine,
Down beside where the waters flow,
Down by the banks of the old Ohio.

I held a knife against her brest
As ino my arms she pressed,
She cried, "oh, willie, don't murder me,
I'm not prepeared for eternity."

And only say that you'll be mine
In no others arms entwine
Down beside where the waters flow
Down by the banks of the old Ohio

I started home 'tween twelve and one,
I cried, "my god, what have I done?
Killed the only woman I loved,
Because she would not be my bride."

And only say that you'll be mine
In no others arms entwine,
Down beside where the waters flow,
Down by the banks of the old Ohio.
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Polly Wolly Doodle

Traditional Song

Oh, I went down South
For to see my Sal
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day
For my Sal, she was
A spunky gal
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
I'm off to Lou'siana
Going to see my Susianna
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day

Oh, my Sal, she was
Such a maiden fair
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day
With curly eyes
And laughing hair
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
I'm off to Lou'siana
Going to see my Susianna
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day

Oh, a grasshopper sittin'
On a railroad track
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day
Was a-pickin' his teeth
With a carpet tack
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
I'm off to Lou'siana
Going to see my Susianna
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day

Oh, I went to bed
But it wasn't no use
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day
'cause my feet stuck out
Like a chicken roost
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
I'm off to Lou'siana
Going to see my Susianna
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day

From behind the barn,
Down on my knees
Singin' Polly wooly doodle all the day
I could swear I heard
a chicken sneeze
Singin' Polly wooy doodle all the day!

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
I'm off to Lou'siana
Going to see my Susianna
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day

And he sneezed so hard
With the whoopn' cough
Singin Polly Wolly Doodle all the day
He sneezed his head
and his tail right off
Singin' Polle wooly doodle all the day!

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well my fairy fay
I'm off to Lou'siana
Going to see my Susianna
Singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day
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Oh My Darlin’ Clementine

Traditional song

In a cavern in a canyon,
Excavating for a mine,
Lived a miner forty-niner,
And his daughter Clementine.

(CHORUS)
Oh, my darlin',
Oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine.

Light she was and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine:
Herring boxes without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine.

Oh, my darlin',
Oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine.

Drove she ducklings to the water,
Every morning at nine.
Stubbed her toe against a splinter;
Fell into the foaming brine.

Oh, my darlin',
Oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine.

Ruby lips above the water
Blowin' bubbles soft and fine.
But, alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine.

Oh, my darlin',
Oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine.

How I missed her,
how I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine,
Until I kissed her little sister,
And forgot my Clementine!

Oh, my darlin',
Oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine.
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Billy Boy

Traditional song

Oh, where have you been,
Billy Boy,Billy Boy,
Oh, where have you been
charming Billy?

I have been to seek a wife,
she's the joy of my life,
She's a young thing
and
cannot leave her mother.

Did she ask you to come in,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy,
Did she ask you to come in,
charming Billy?

Yes, she asked me to come in,
there's a dimple in her chin,
She's a young thing
and
cannot leave her mother.

Can she make a cherry pie,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy,
Can she make a cherry pie,
charming Billy?

She can make a cherry pie,
quick as you can wink an eye,
She's a young thing
and
cannot leave her mother.

Can she make a feather bed,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy,
Can she make a feather bed,
charming Billy?

She can make a feather bed,
while a-standing on her head,
She's a young thing
and
cannot leave her mother.

How tall is she,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy,
How tall is she,
charming Billy?

She is tall as any pine,
and straight as a pumpkin vine,
She's a young thing
and
cannot leave her mother.

How old is she,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy,
How old is she,
charming Billy?

She is sixty times eleven,
twenty-eight and forty- seven,
She's a young thing
and
cannot leave her mother
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I’ve Been Working on the Railroad

Traditional song.

I've been working
on the railroad.
All the live long day.

I've been working
on the rail road,
just to pass the time away.

Can't you hear
the whistle blowing?
Rise up so early in the morn!

Can't you hear
the captain shouting?
Dinah, blow your horn!

Dinah, won't you blow,
Dinah, won't you blow,
Dinah won't you blow
your hor.. hor.. horn?

Dinah, won't you blow,
Dinah, won't you blow,
Dinah won't you blow
your horn?

Someone's in the kitchen
       with Dinah,
someone's in the kitchen,
      I kno.. ho.. ho.. ho..

Someone's in the kitchen
      with Dinah,
strumming on the old banjo.

Fee fi fiddley aye oh!
Fee fi fiddley aye oh
oh oh oh

Fee fi fiddley aye oh!
Strumming the old ban-jo!
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On top of Old Smokey

Traditional song

On top of old Smokey
All covered with snow
I lost my true lover
Come acourtin’ too slow

For courtin’s a pleasure
And parting is grief
A false hearted lover
Is worse than a thief

For a thief he will robe you
And take what you have
But a false hearted lover
Will send you to your grave

She’ll hug you and kiss you
And tell you more lies
The crossties on railroad
Or stars in the sky

On top of old Smokey
All covered with snow
I lost my true lover
Come acourtin’ too slow
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